You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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