nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
