Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
