I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
time to smoke my breakfast
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
