evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
