oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
