It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Everclear isn't food dammit
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