Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
