look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
