Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
