so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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