Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize