I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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