Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
