guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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