he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
