i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
