I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Randomize
