is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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