all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
