Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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