just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Bring me that man meat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
