oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
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