So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
