I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
