so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
