im about as happy as oj after his trial
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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