I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
