try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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