apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
