I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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