Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
