Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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