dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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