Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
