did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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