I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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