She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
