i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
