I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize