Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
