I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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