Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
