Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If I die, sorry about rent.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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