He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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