he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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