I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
