just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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