Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
