No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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