dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
