After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
