Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
