my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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