I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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