Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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