Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
