so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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