Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
